Look for an Opportunity To Give it All Away: Mom’s Purse
Dad is 87, mom 86. Living very modestly in a one bedroom, one living room, one bathroom and kitchen seniors’ apartment complex, their monthly income is close to what many of us spend in a day. Somehow that veteran’s pittance and social security check keeps them funded from month to month with the never ending response of’“we have all we need and have never been happier”. As a retired southern Baptist preacher and stay at home mom who has ministered by his side for 66+ years and raised five children (“yours truly” being one), financial planning was never an issue. The plan was rather simple:keep the kids fed, clothed and educated, feed the poor, visit the needy, pay the bills. With nothing ever left over, their financial plan for the future was mostly left in the hands of faith. Not a bad place to be, by the way.
I’m 54, their 4th born, and have been “better than deserved” blessed financially. Yes, one of the “many” referred to above. I just came back from spending a night with mom and dad. Dad fixed the best chicken spaghetti I have ever tasted and as in many times past, fixed a homemade batch of peanut brittle that is second to none. We talked as we ate, undoubtedly the best part of the meal. We watched an NBA game on TNT together, muted the commercials, and talked some more. I slept on a fold out sofa couch. The next morning I accompanied my parents to a one hour gathering of their friends in the complex’s community room. We then had lunch together (talked some more), and I left for home.
On my way home I was rummaging through my briefcase and found a small envelope, mysteriously placed inside, unbeknownst to me. Quickly convinced to solve the mystery, I opened it. The very first thing I saw was money - $19. “$19”, I thought,”“enough to buy a nice dinner, 1/3 a tank of gas (can you believe it?), movie and a snack, or something along those lines. A modest gift, but where did it come from?” Then I saw the accompanying note.
“This is just a small way to say thank-you for your generosity to us. It’s all the money I had in my purse, but I want you to have it. I love you, Mom.”
In her little note, Mom got some things right, and she got some things wrong. To label her gift as “small” was a great understatement, a great injustice to the gift that was given. How can anything be labeled small when it is all you have? She gave me everything. Nothing held back for a rainy day. What at first glance seemed small to even me became huge when I read the note and then understood the heart and sacrifice of the one who gave.
So why am I compelled to tell my story to a host of bankers? Here’s why. We all have a “mom’s purse”, valuables, if you will, in the form of talents, skills, position and responsibility. Some of our purses are quite full, some not. But it has never been, nor ever will be, about how much is in the purse, but instead, on how much is given.
You’re a beginning teller, bookkeeper, loan officer or new accounts person. The “higher ups” don’t know your name, you’re a bit overwhelmed trying to learn it all, and the job is tough. No one asks your opinion or advice. You’re at the low end of the pay scale and the career mountain in front of you seems enormously high and difficult to climb. The bottom of the totem pole. Keep this in mind: though your “purse” may seem small and insignificant, it’s not about what is in your purse, but the portion that is given from your purse. Don’t be fooled. It is in your giving that you gain your identity. Never underestimate the “$19” - that smile, that overtime spent to find the error, that extra call to a struggling business, that patience to an elderly customer. All this and more is wrapped up in the attitude: “it’s all I had in my purse, but I want you to have it”.
You’re a Director, CEO, CFO or other executive. You are well known in your bank and community. You are the person where the buck stops, the top of the totem pole. The valuables in your purse are many. Be careful, for you, too, must remember, that your true identity should not come from the size of your purse. “$19” from you takes on a whole new meaning. As leaders in our profession, you to set the pace. You can show us that to whom much has been given, much is required. Good or bad, we are likely to follow.
Briefly back to Mom and Dad. Sometimes I wonder how they can say, “we have all we need and have never been happier”. But as I revisit the handwritten note and recount the $19, and as I reassess the heart and the life that is behind it, I do begin to see the wonderful truth that real happiness and fulfillment comes from the sacrificial act of giving.
So examine your own “purse”. Inventory the contents. And look for an opportunity today to give it all away.
